When dressing the baby, especially when dressing him in shirts that pull over the head and have snaps at the crotch (ie, EVERYTHING HE WEARS), you need to perhaps take a bit more care instead of blindly pulling a shirt over his head and then wondering why the baby is crying while simultaneously noticing the nice red stripes down his face that (coincidence?) exactly match the width of the crotch snaps. I'm just saying...
No worries. I am sure it'll be fine to take a red-striped child to the doctors office today for a check-up. They won't wonder at all where those stripes came from. Maybe, just maybe, they'll think he did it to himself. Because, you know, what could you do to stop the self-inflicted fingernail scratches that the boy is so good at? Except, perhaps, to file his nails. Hmmmm. What a concept! (Self: I swear I JUST did that! Like two weeks ago! Why do these damn fingernails have to keep growing?)
C'mon, Self. Do better.
Love,
You. Or is it Me? No, You, I think.
Note how the stripe in the center of his forehead goes all the way down to the tip of his nose. Talent. I have got some talent...
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