Just because I threw you down the stairs...

Doesn't mean you need to give me the finger!

Completely unscripted - I just looked down and saw this. Rotten little boy! :-)

OK, so I didn't ACTUALLY throw the baby down the stairs. I was walking down the stairs last night with a baby in one arm and we kind of, well, traveled quickly down five or six steps on my butt. Dexter's little feet might have hit a few stairs on the way down. He's perfectly fine - still has two feet and ten toes. That still kick. I think I mostly just scared the piss out of him. As seen in subsequent diaper changes.

And me? The idiot who fell down the stairs? I'm fine. It scared me half to death. After the "OMG, did I kill the baby?" initial reaction, all those "what if" scenarios flashed through my head. Some completely ridiculous scenarios, of course. Like "OMG, what if I had been holding Dexter with his HEAD under my arm, instead of his feet? His head would have totally smashed down six stairs!" Ridiculous, right? Why would I ever carry Dex with his head under my arm pit? That's something his Dad would do... Anyway, after some "I almost killed the baby" tears, I am fine. And I cracked up five minutes later (I swear) when I looked down and saw Dexter flipping me the bird. Yeah, I know. I deserved it, buddy.

And yes, mother. I WAS holding the railing when I fell down the stairs. I am just an idiot.

There's a Man on My Couch

I found this on my couch this afternoon. Can I keep it?

I am cute. That is all.

C is for Cookie

So if Dexter has slept like a ROCK for his two evening naps (typically non-sleepers) does that mean that he really enjoys the eighteen billion chocolate chip cookies I have eaten today? Perhaps I should continue the cookie experiment again tomorrow? Such a sacrifice!

I am sure it's a fluke thing, and never again will the child sleep from 6pm til 8:30 pm. But hey - I'll take it for one day!

I'm having bad hair day (ok, I'm having a bad hair LIFE) and I have spit-up trickling out of my mouth. But I have some cute VT socks! GO HOKIES!

Witless

That'd be me. I got nothing witty for you all today. Nothin. Sorry. I'm sleepy, I should probably be taking advantage of napping baby to take a nap myself. But the internets have sucked me right in, so here I be.

So you just get some pictures from a Mom play date yesterday. At which Dexter met and proposed marriage to at least two ladies. Who are older. Much, much older. Like 35 years older. Might want to set your sights a little bit younger, my man... We also had a little play date here at the house today. So we're quite the social butterflies. Whatever shall we do tomorrow?? Maybe it will be nice enough outside to go for a walk. And a trip to Wal-Mart might be in the cards. Got nothing to do during the day? Plan a trip to Wal-Mart! Always makes any day better.

Oh! Fabulous discovery of the day? Dexter will sleep, eventually, in his Snuggly baby carrier thing. AND - I can effectively cut cheese and slice apples while he is in there. Sweet!! Also, he-he. I said "cut cheese..."

Dexter snuggles with one of his future wives, Shari

Traitor! Other future wife Christie snuggles with Rylan instead of with Dex. How dare she! Also, ridiculous to think that in six months Dexter will be as big as Rylan is here. He's HUGE!
Cute snuggly baby.

Thanks, Amy, for taking pictures on Monday!

What's the Difference?

So we don't get it. How do we do nothing, NOTHING, different and have such a drastically different child from day to day? Thursday? Terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Friday? I don't really remember, but I was smiling when John got home so it must have been fine. Saturday? Slightly fussy child who missed a few naps, but tolerable. Kind of like cry half an hour, sleep half an hour. And today? Thus far the boy has done nothing but sleep. Sleep, sleep, and sleep some more. And I swear we've done nothing different. So what's the deal?

We had a fun visit from the Bairs yesterday, and Dex and I have TWO play dates this week. So we'll be some busy people! Plus we've got to go shopping at the big huge consignment sale in Havre de Grace on Thursday evening, just to see what kind of fun deals we can pick up for baby stuff. Not that we really need anything - you all have us well stocked. I'm looking for like 12 month old clothes. Because we're in good shape up until then!

For your daily dose of Dexter, check out my super cute boys. I love them!

Three. THREE!

It's Dexter Jeopardy! And the question is: What is the number of diapers Dexter pooped in within a five minute period, at 4:30 AM?

I've got to start getting John to do these 4:30 AM feedings...

And my dear Dave Telesco. Your advice to put a washcloth over the pee-pee to stop errant sprayed urine? All fine and good. But tell me, what is your definition of "it works!"? If "it works!" means that baby will not pee with a washcloth over his pee-pee, you would be sadly mistaken. If, however, "it works!" simply means that pee will not go shooting six feet across the room until it hits a wall? Well, ok. It works. It works a bit more like this: washcloth kind of soaks up some pee, and deflects it down the baby's side, thereby soaking clothing and changing pad that baby is lying on, and necessitating the changing of all items. At, of course, 4:30 AM.

See why I need to get John to start doing these feedings?

We're working on a better day thus far today, after a fairly terrible one yesterday. A day in which, after John called ten minutes after I thought he'd be home to tell me was just then leaving work, I cried. And when John got home and gave me a hug, while I was holding a baby who really just wanted to bite my nipple off, I cried some more. Kind of a lot. Bad day. But today is looking up! We're going to go to Wal-Mart during one of our habitually crappy nap periods. Because Wal-Mart = BABY SLEEP!! How anyone can sleep in Wal-Mart is beyond me, but Dexter seems to enjoy Wal-Mart as a napping location.

Speaking of three, it's Dexter's three week birthday today. I was cracking up yesterday when I was asking the lactation consultants for advice on how to get Dex to nurse better, so I was not in constant pain. They said "he's only three weeks old, it'll take a while for him to get it." To which I thought "Christ on a pony! He's THREE WEEKS OLD!! How has he not yet figured out how to EAT??"

For your daily (or every other daily) dose of Dexter: bundled up in his super cute jacket with hood and built in mittens, after a walk we took on Wednesday morning. We shall NOT be walking today, as it's 35 degrees with eight billion mph winds...

Rocky Balboa

Does the fact that Dexter can pack a mean left hook directly to his mom's nipple, EVERY. TIME. mean that this boy is going to be a lefty? Just like Rocky Balboa! :-) OK, I had to look that up. Who knew Rocky Balboa was a lefty?

Seriously, though. The left hand on this child is the bane of my existence. I would like to strap it to his waist so it can never move again. Because when he punches an already sore nipple with it? HURTS. OWWW. BAD.

And in other news of the week, we went to lactation support group yesterday for some ideas on how to work with my overactive milk supply. And came home with? A diagnosis of mastitis. Requiring a trip to my doctor and a later trip to Wal-Mart to pick up some antibiotics. What is mastitis? It's Latin for, I think, "red swollen breast that hurts when you touch it." Apparently I am some kind of superwoman, because mastitis knocks some people right on their butt. Fever, flu-like symptoms, seriously painful breast. Me? I just looked down yesterday and said "hmmm, wonder why that's red?" And that's about it. Anyway, antibiotics and oodles of nursing should get me back to normal in no time. Normal, of course, being a relative term.

As I skipped breakfast this morning, I shall now take advantage of sleeping child (YAY SLEEPING CHILD!) to dig something out of the fridge for lunch. And think of a way to tie down one little boy's left hand...

PS - As Stacey so wisely pointed out, yes, chocolate does contain dairy. So while I may be superwoman on the mastitis front, I cannot claim the same for my self control when it comes to chocolate. I can't do it. Sorry, Dex! Does cheese on pizza count? Cuz I might not be able to cut that out, either. Hey, a girl's got to have her limits...

Things that make you go hmmmm

We've been having issues for a week or so with a sometimes very unhappy baby. Gassy. Spit-uppy. Gulping his food. Not sleeping well during the day. So we're working on some theories to make the boy happier.

Going theory number 1: Reflux. Undeveloped digestive system doesn't keep digestive acids down in the stomach where they belong, so they get spit up and make a baby sad. Part of the solution? This sleep wedge thingy, that keeps his head elevated while sleeping. Trying to let gravity keep reflux down where it belongs. The verdict so far? Inconclusive. Except to say that the sleep wedge thingy makes Dex sleep in some wompy positions.

Theory number 2: Something I am eating is making the boy sad. Easiest culprit to eliminate? Dairy products. So I am currently working on a dairy-free diet. Meaning no milk, and (booooo) no cheese. NO CHEESE!! What's a girl to do without cheese?? Verdict? Inconclusive. I just started the no dairy thing today. As well as the keeping track of everything I eat thing. Which actually may come in pretty handy to lose some baby weight. Do I really want that piece of chocolate if I have to write it down? Maybe. Maybe not. OK - yes, I still want it and I will still eat it.

Theory number 3: Overactive let down. Meaning? My boobs. They are FAR too efficient. Must feed baby! More! MORE! So milk goes shooting in to Dexter at a high velocity, causing gulping, gas, reflux, and generally sad baby. The symptoms?

Some identifying features of the baby whose mother has overactive let-down are:

• The baby is gaining weight rapidly - often more than one ounce a day (ummm, linebacker of a baby - CHECK!)
  
• Normal Development (CHECK!)
  
• Frequent wet diapers and frequent, explosive stools - often green (CHECK! CHECK! CHECK!)
  
• Gulping, choking, sputtering at the breast(CHECK!)
• Arches, pulls off the breast and cries (CHECK!)
  
• Frequent, brief feeds (hmmm. not really)
  
• Seems to feed more contentedly at night (CHECK!)
  
• Never appears satisfied (not sure what this means. Given the current state of my crying baby, I am going to go with a half-hearted CHECK)
  
• Makes grunting noises during sleep (CHECK!)
  
• May spit up a lot (CHECK!)

So we'll try out a few things to try to resolve the situation. Apparently just telling my brests to CALM DOWN ALREADY is not going to work...

Fortunately for the crying child, he is wicked cute when he is sleeping. Actually, he is wicked cute any time he is not crying. So for about 3/4 of the day. The other quarter of the day Mom wishes she had ear plugs.

Who, me? Cry? Never! I am nothing but cute, all the time.

Dex contentedly sleeps in Kenny's arms. Also known as: Wicked cute baby faced neighbor holding wicked cute baby faced baby.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! We'll help you celebrate with some cute pictures of Dexter. Because nothing says "I Love You" like a cute baby, having a bad hair day, being held up by his mom (and apparently choked, as well), while trying to burp. Or spit up. Or get rid of anything that might come from the digestive system. Poop will work, too...

Oh, sure. Mom HAD to accentuate my big old double chin...

We've got some video, too, but haven't quite gotten to the point of figuring out how to upload it and edit it. Somehow I doubt you want to see 30 minutes of Dexter spitting up and getting his diaper changed. OK, the grandparents would happily watch it. But the general viewing audience would be bored to tears. We'll work on cutting that down and posting something in the next few days.

We celebrated Valentine's Day today with a trip to the Scary Diner for breakfast (biscuits and gravy are a surefire way to win over any significant other's heart), and an exchange of copious amounts of Bomboy's chocolate. I don't know what we'll ever do for gifts if we move away from this town. Any other chocolate just doesn't compare!

Percentiles

Happy 2 week birthday, Dex! Your dad and I are celebrating tonight with a good dinner of steak and scallops. Yes, we're cooking tonight! Amazing. And really it's a Valentine's Day dinner celebration. But we can tell Dex it's for his 2 week birthday.

To celebrate his birthday, as well, Dexter got to go to the pediatrician for his 2 week check-up. His weight today? From Mr. Chow Hound, a whopping 9lbs 7oz. What were we a week and a half ago at the doctor? 8lbs 6oz, right? So he gained a pound in 9 days. Good work, Dex!

9lbs 7oz is in the 75th percentile for weight. So he's a fatty, but not the fattest yet. We're still working on that. His length of 22 inches is in the 95th percentile. We're thinking NBA basketball career. Or, if we can get up the weight, NFL. And his head circumference of 37 cm is in the 50th percentile. To which I say: hat's off to all you moms with kids with heads in the 95th percentile. I cannot even imagine the pain...

I went to the doctor for a quick check-up today, as well. All is well with me. Pretty well all healed up.

Hmmmm. I haven't taken any Dexter photos recently. Sorry - I am slacking. I'll work on a Valentine's Day photo for you tomorrow, ok?

Back to Normal (AKA, HOORAY! No more fat fingers!)

Life is slowly getting back to normal here. Check it out! I got my rings back on my finger this morning! Now, who knows if they will ever come OFF again. But I am happy they are back on.
Dexter is slowly getting back to normal, as well. One terrible day of no sleeping, one day where all he did was sleep, and today we're back to a fairly regular three hour schedule with a happy baby who fusses a bit when he goes down for a nap but eventually goes to sleep and is really, really, really cute. And has yellow poop again. So, all is right with the world. Phew!

I am fitting in to my "one size bigger than normal, but (score!) not maternity pants" right now, and my belly has shrunk to "now I just look fat" proportions. So, I shall happily eat the fantastic chocolate that my friend Gary brought me from England. Why let that "now I just look fat" time frame go to waste? It's AMAZING chocolate. And I am NOT SHARING!!

I'd love to get myself back to the gym soon, but as a walk around the block currently makes me wince in pain by the end, I am thinking I might have to wait for a bit. Oh, and then there's that small issue of me being Dexter's only food source. Hmmm. We'll remedy that soon, I hope. Give us a couple weeks and we'll have John feeding the boy a bottle or seven a day.

What's not normal, and has been absolutely amazing for us, is the food that keeps appearing on our door step from generous friends. I believe I have mentioned before that we have the world's best friends, right? They continue to kick butt, meaning that we haven't had to cook dinner at all since we've been home from the hospital. Not that we ever really cooked dinner to begin with... But their home cooked meals that can just get popped in the oven - fantastic!

So all in all we are doing great, surrounded by lots of people who love us and help us out. And to make today that much better - it's apparently spring in Maryland! At least for a day. We'll go take advantage. Right after this nap. Shhh! I do believe the boy is asleep!!

For your daily dose of Dexter, I finally remembered to take a picture of Dex with the cute, cute, cute floral arrangement that Gina and Steve sent. John can't wait for the flowers to die so he can play with the fire truck! :-)
We went for a walk right after this photo. And no, grandmas, I didn't bring the camera. Sorry! I'm lucky I remembered the kid. The walk prep went something like this: HURRY! Put kid in car seat, take this photo, throw shoes on, shake the dog awake and convince her that going out for a walk is a good idea (harder than one might think), grab a coat, don't forget the kid! Get stroller out of car. Walk, walk, walk! Dex fell asleep, but it's all good. It's gorgeous outside today, and CoCo and I enjoyed ourselves.

It Can Only Last 24 Hours, Right?

Just when we think we've mastered this whole sleep thing, Dex throws us for a loop. Keeping us on our toes, the boy is. We started Sunday night with a sleeping, but up more often than normal to eat (for him, at night) little boy. Which progressed in to a screaming, not sleeping little boy by about 10 am. And lasted ALL. DAY. LONG.

Oh! The screaming! The crying! The kicking of legs! The flailing of arms! And that was just me. Dex was all that, plus a voracious appetite and green poo in his diaper. We were at our wit's end. Until, finally, at 11pm the boy graced us with sleep. And blessed silence. And his typical "I'll sleep for five hours, thank you very much, because it's night time." Thank the lord.

So the green poo freaked us out enough that I decided to take Dex to lactation support group at the hospital today. Think Dex and I and a kajillion other moms and babies, all breast feeding in one room, and you'll get a pretty accurate picture of lactation support group. It was cool, though. A few lactation consultants there to see how baby is nursing. Plus Dex got weighed before and after he ate. Before? A whopping 9 pounds. I don't think we need to worry about the boy not eating enough! He may well be the youngest contestant on "The Biggest Loser" at this rate. Do they take two week olds? He gained weight after he ate, but because I am a moron I didn't quite take note of how much. 2 oz? 4 oz? I haven't the slightest idea. This is where I need John. He pays attention. But boys are not allowed in the booby room. It's an exclusive club.

Oh, and the green poo? Apparently nothing to worry about. The terrible fussy baby yesterday? Quite possibly a growth spurt. Ahhhh. Duh! And the spitting up? No big deal. Should get better as the boy gets better at burping. Which is a skill we practice often. John about fell out of his chair laughing at Dex yesterday. He let a good one rip. That's my boy!

Hmmm. The paparazzi has been fairly quiet around here recently. Pictures of screaming baby are not quite as appealing. So I'll leave you with this one. CoCo was amazed that Mom came home today and STILL had that thing in the car seat with her...

Where's Winter?

A week and a half ago, before we went to the hospital, the world looked like this:

And it was COLD. That's not even just me saying that (I am a big sissy), but also the visitors from the Arctic Circle (AKA, Massena NY).

But today? Today it was 65 degrees and sunny. What better day to take Dex on his first walk?

John, Dex, and CoCo

Dex looks pleased to be included in this little walk...

CoCo is a good girl, following right along with Mom. Now I have to remember when it's just me and Dex and CoCo that I have to wait for the old dog, and stop to clean up her poop.


John gets to push UP the hill, going home. Is it just me, or does he look tired?

Physically Impossible

There's no way that this child:

Fit in to this belly:

See? Physically impossible. Where did he come from?

Dear Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad,

Congrats! You've made it a week and have done no apparent harm to me! Keep up the good work!

I can't believe I am a week old already. One week down. Lots more to go!

Grandma sent this picture of you, Mom. She thinks you and I looked a lot alike as babies. What do you think? And there's a picture of Dad, too. I think I might look a little more like Mom.

Love, Dex



Mom, then me, then Dad.

Spoiled Rotten Boy

If this child continues to be so cute, how can we help but spoil him rotten?

Enjoying the newfound freedom of the Pack-N-Play - SOO much more room than Mom's belly!
See what we do for you? Dex and I edit photos of, of course, Dex.
Seriously. Could just eat this child up for lunch.
Dad and his kids
Half the Red Army contingent visits Dex, filled with questions. Why does he eat from your boob? Why does he fall asleep when eating? What does he eat? Why do you need to change the diaper? Too cute.
The girls check out John's most excellent diapering skills
Tummy time. Perhaps not so pleased by it...
Ah, blessed sleep. Hard to believe such a cute kid could scream for so many hours on end, just the previous evening.
These need no explanation. Just say "awwwww" and go on with your day.

Remembering the good old days...

Ah, it seems like only yesterday when we had a baby who would reliably eat, poop, and go back to sleep for a couple hours... Oh, wait. That WAS yesterday. Dex, I think, decided we were a bit too cocky about our fabulous parenting skills and threw us for a loop last night. His mind was working something like this: "Must have boob, must have boob, must have boob. Ahhh. Boob. Now must fall asleep while eating. Wait. Back in my crib, asleep for five minutes? Terrible!! Scream! Cry! Whine! Make silly people pick me up and walk around the house with me for an hour! And, finally, sleep..." Bless John's heart for taking "walking Dex duty" so I could get some sleep.

We seem to have our little boy back, for now. We were about to have another non-sleeping episode this morning after the doctor, but heaven sent us Larysa and Pete's swing, which worked wonders.

Dex absolutely knows how to eat. His weight yesterday with the at-home nurse was 8lbs 3oz. Only one oz under birth weight. And today at the doctor? 8lbs 6oz. He is HUGE! They were shocked a bit at the doctor's office, I think. Perhaps I don't need to let him eat for an hour at a time...

My milk has come in with a vengeance. Reactions to this development depend on what family member you ask:
Alissa: OUCH!
Dex: YUM!
John: D-D-D-DAMN!
CoCo: That's nice, Mom. How about you rub my belly?

We've had part of the Red Army over on Monday and Tuesday to meet Dex. Way too cute. I thought perhaps I had traumatized Natasha for life by breast feeding in front of her on Monday. But she was intrigued enough to come back on Tuesday with Nadia. And both girls asked about breast feeding, and wanted to pet Dex's head, and put his hat on, and pick out a new outfit for him. They were cute. Christie says that Nadia is now walking around the house with a swaddled baby doll, and a burp cloth on her shoulder. She'll make an excellent Momma!

CoCo and Dex are working on becoming friends. Dex still has no idea that CoCo exists, and CoCo for the most part ignores Dex. So we're living in perfect harmony... But last night CoCo sniffed Dex a few times while he was laying on John's stomach. She's a bit curious. So, some time perhaps a truce will be made.

Thank you all for your well wishes. We're doing absolutely great. And I never knew that one could waste so much of a day just looking at a baby. I mean, it's not like he does anything. Why is he so captivating? I don't know why, but he's stolen our hearts. All y'all told us that life would never be the same after we had a baby. And we're so glad that you all were right!

Photos

Here's a link to some photos of Dex in the hospital and during his first day home. He's doing great, Alissa is sore and tired but really doing well, John is wonderful and CoCo? Well CoCo might be slightly freaked out. Which she shows by napping all day. Of course.

http://picasaweb.google.com/alissa.norman/DexterSFirstDays#

From Dexter

Hi Everyone,

Thanks for all your emails. Mom has been reading them to me - everyone telling me congrats on being born (it was pretty hard work on my part, but I was a trooper) and saying how cute I am. Right now I have seen my fists, entering my mouth, and those look and taste pretty darn good, so I am guessing the rest of me is cute, too.

I'll tell you a bit about my first few days. On Thursday night Mom starting getting cramps that were pushing on me. Those kind of sucked, so I kicked Mom. But they pushed me way way down and squeezed my head in to a tight little space, so I hung out there for a while. Friday the cramps kept getting worse. I kicked Mom some, but after a while that became too much work so I just focused on squeezing my head through a little tunnel. Around 7:30pm I was close enough to the end of the tunnel that some people kept poking me in the head. And I kept on working my way out. At one point someone told Mom not to push, and they unwrapped some cord thing from around my neck a couple times. I don't think I knew it was there - it wasn't bugging me at all, and my heart rate was good the whole time. But apparently it scared the doctors a little bit. Then Mom gave one more big push and my shoulders popped out of Mom and I was COLD! A nurse sucked some fluid out of my mouth and... my memory is a little foggy here. I know I cried. I know Mom and Dad were happy to see me. Dad cut some cord attached to my belly, and then a nurse gave me some shots and put some goop in my eyes and wiped me off and put me on a scale and stuff. I cried a bunch. And then, finally, I got to go see Mom again, and I got to nurse. Yum! Food! I was hungry after working so hard all day.

I slept a bunch after that. I woke up some times when bright lights were flashing in my eyes. Mom said something about the paparazzi. Not sure what that means. But the lights kept flashing every time I met a new person. I met my grandma and grandpa Cowan, and Nana and Grandpa Norman, and my Aunt Christy. And then I spent my first night rotating between crying, eating, and sleeping. I slept on Mom for a little while - she kept holding my arms down. Some times I wake up quickly, and my arms fly around a bit - it's a little scary. I'm not sure arms are supposed to do that. Thought they were just supposed to deliver fists in to my mouth.

Saturday was a rough day. Just when I'd be sleeping someone would take me to get my temperature taken, or get a shot, or go to a little room some where to be circumsiced. That part was really not the highlight of my day. I slept for a while on some various family members, and stayed up pretty late crying. I was trying to tell Mom that I was still hungry. Takes those guys a while to catch on some times. Then just as I was trying to sleep I had to wake up and get naked to get weighed. I lost 5 ounces from birth. Apparently that's ok - nobody freaked out about it. And then I had to have my heel pricked and have blood squeezed out of it. Not a big fan of that, either.

Sunday was a better day. I hung out for a while with Grandma and Grandpa, waiting for a doctor to come see me to see if I could go home. She must have thought I was pretty cute, too, because I was cleared to go home. I got strapped in to some seat thing around 2:30. Mom and Dad took some more pictures - I think they thought I was big. Until I was in this little seat. Apparently I am not nearly as big as they thought. I liked going for a little walk outside, and riding in the car. And then we got home! Some brown fuzzy thing came and sniffed me, and it keeps coming and sitting next to Mom when I am nursing. I'm not sure what it is yet - I will have to get back to you there. Apparently some thing called CoCo. Oh, and I met some new friends - Adam and Maria came over to meet me and admire how cute I am.

I had a good first night at home, and am having a good first morning here, too. I've done some pretty cool stuff - pooped on the changing table right after Mom took my diaper off, peed on Dad after he took my diaper off, have spit up on pretty much everyone and everything. I eat a lot. I sleep a lot. I cry some, but I really think it's not very much.

Things I like:
Fists in mouth
Breast in mouth
Sitting up on Dad's lap
Sleeping on Mom's chest
Having my head rubbed

Things I don't like:
Baths
Dad tickling my feet to make me stay awake to eat
Staying awake to eat

Thanks again to everyone for all your congratulations. Mom said she'd post some pictures to Picasa today, so you can see how much cuter I have become (Dad says I had a "cone head" when I was born. Dude - YOU try squeezing through that tunnel!)

Much love,
Dex