Day... Ah, Hell. Does it matter? Breathe.

From Webster's Dictionary:

Breathe (verb): to draw air into and expel it from the lungs

Breathing is not something we're taking for granted around the Norman house this week. After a fun weekend in New York for Grandma's birthday, Dexter woke up Tuesday morning wheezing and coughing and sneezing and unable to breathe through his nose. Which is a problem, because inability to breathe through nose = inability to suck fingers. And inability to suck fingers = inability to self-soothe and put self to sleep. All that meaning? We had a cranky sick baby who didn't sleep for shit yesterday. John stayed in his room for half an hour or so last night until he settled himself down enough to go to sleep, finally. Dexter, I mean. John fell asleep just fine, sitting in the glider in Dexter's room. Fortunately he seems better today. Snotty runny nose, still, but the breathing seems fine.

Somehow it seems wrong and morbid to check to see if the dog is breathing every single time I walk in to the living room. And yet I still do it. Walk downstairs in the morning. Flip on the light. Watch the brown fuzz lift up, fall down. Lift up, fall down. Excellent. The old girl made it through another night. It's not a given these days. She's had a bad week, throwing up a lot and not eating very much. She went to our awesome vet yesterday, gave up some pee and some blood and... the results aren't good. Kidney failure has progressed to anemia, as the kidneys are not telling the body to make more red blood cells. Urine has 3 - 4 times the normal amount of all kinds of bad things that normal urine has. And yet? She's way more perky today than she has been all week. Perky meaning she actually came in to the kitchen and ate Cheerios off the ground.
There's not a lot we can do for the old girl. I mean, I'm sure there's a lot we CAN do. Dr. Moffa said he'd go to the ends of the earth for the pup if we wanted him to. But, I don't want him to. I don't want to make her stay in the hospital and get an IV drip of fluids for several days. I don't want her on medications that will make her feel bad. She won't survive any surgery. And, Christ. The dog is 18. She's had a great life. I'd truly love for her to fall asleep one night and just not wake up. Not any time soon - I am not wishing for this to happen. But if she's going to go, I'd rather have it be that way. Happy, sleeping in her own bed, at home.

We'll run up to the vet's office tomorrow and have the vet techs show us how to do some Sub-Q fluids for her. She's on some Pepcid AC twice a day to help her nausea. And we'll just see how she does. I'll continue to look over at her every time I am in the living room. Watching the brown fuzz lift up. Fall down. Lift up. Fall down.

Breathing is hard for John and I these days, too, as we worry and stress about buying a new house. Which school district? Which town? Decisions we make now will affect the small child for his lifetime. And that's kind of a big burden to shoulder.

Increasing the stress level, in a good way, is the news we got tonight that someone is writing an offer on our house. Yay! We don't know yet what the offer is, if it's any good, etc. But if it's a good offer and we accept it, well - we kind of need to decide on that whole "where do we buy a house" thing kind of quickly. And get our asses out there and BUY ONE.

Other tidbits of news - John has like one more day of Jillian to do. He got all crazy and got himself some five pound weights. Which the baby tried to lift up yesterday, couldn't, and promptly signed "help" to me. So freaking cute. I have seven more days, I think? Who knows. I started up again today after a week off, for the bum knee. But I think today will count as Day 23 for me, as I didn't really do a workout on Day 23 last week.

And, finally, pictures of a cute baby. I thought I had video of him standing up, from the ground, no assistance needed. But, alas, I am a moron and I do not.

Walking is FUN! I get to hold TWO completely non-toy objects in my hands, at the same time!

Check out my sexy post-playing-in-the-yard outfit. Striped socks. Jealous??

Mere milliseconds before I cheerfully walked right off the edge of the stair and would have landed SPLAT on my face if Mom hadn't caught me with the hand that wasn't holding the camera.

Day 22 and 23 - Uh-Oh

So day 2 of Level 3 was still pretty sucky. Jump! Jump some more! And then - how about you jump! But I survived, and felt pretty good. And then today. Oh, today. Not my day, apparently. I started Jillian, got 2/3 of the way through the WARM-UP, and I felt something pop in my knee. In the WARM-UP. WTF? The thing that broke me? Knee circles. Meant to loosen the knee joint. My knee apparently doesn't want loosening. And the knee that hurts right now is the knee I had surgery on a few years ago. So I don't mess around with that knee. You hurt, knee? Alrighty, then. We'll stop. I'll try again tomorrow.

We're looking at the calendar and noticing that our challenge (if my knee lets me back on the wagon) ends right before Easter. And then we are falling RIGHT off the wagon and eating so much chocolate. Because, HELLLLLOOOO? Bomboy's chocolate Easter eggs? THE BOMB.

What else, what else. Yesterday I took Dex to a make-up class at My Gym. So I left the house, drove 25 minutes, was pulling in to My Gym, and suddenly remembered what day it was. Wednesday. And the class we were going to? Didn't start for another hour. I was completely thinking it was Thursday. SO - we had an hour to kill, and we needed some lunch. Off to a diner we go! It was no problem. I had some emergency Cheerios, a bib, and a placemat with me. The diner had grilled cheese. And, hey - can we get some veggies with that? Peas and carrots? Most excellent! Dexter's favorite! So we were set. Except for milk. Formula, really, as that's what he still drinks. I ordered him some whole milk in a cup with a straw. His first sip was fine. Second sip? Funny face. Third sip? More funny face and push the cup away. Aaaaand, that was it. No more milk for that boy! I was hoping the formula to milk transition would be an easy one, but it looks like no.

See above for video from yesterday at My Gym. Plenty of walking, and still crawling plenty if there's nothing for him to pull himself up with. Enjoy!

Day 21 - Rubber Legs

Jillian Level 3. I knew I might be in trouble when I heard John grunting while working out last night, and then heard him yell "WHAT?" in disbelief to the television. I didn't experience any grunting, because I still do sissy push-ups. But the "WHAT?" in disbelief? I can see where that came from. We have now entered a whole new level of jumping pain with Jillian. And my legs? Were TIRED.

Dex and I shall be enjoying our last week of My Gym this week, and then our classes are over. It's summer. It's nice out. Our mom playgroup schedules two sessions a month at My Gym that I can go to, instead.

SO - enjoy some photos of Dex from My Gym last week. I'll try to remember to bring my camera this week to take a few more.

BALLS!

OOOOOH, BUBBLES....

MORE BUBBLES!

And below, quickly following Dex as he wanders across My Gym in search of something else to play with. I didn't get the video turned on fast enough - he walked across the whole room before he fell down. Good work, Dex!

Day... 20? Maybe? Every Light in the House is On

I seriously can't keep track. Is today Day 20? I think it might be. I didn't do Jillian Friday or Saturday. Sunday was Day 19, I just didn't post. So, yes. Today is Day 20 for me. Day 21 for John - he is heading down to the basement right now to try out Level 3 and let me know how much it sucks.

My mom emailed me yesterday wondering why I haven't posted in three days. Aww, you're thinking. She's worried about you, right? Nah. Not at all. She's wondering why she's had to go three days without seeing a picture of her cute grandson. I knew I shouldn't have started this "I'll post every day" promise. Ten more days, grandmas, and then I'm done with the every day stuff!

Busy busy this weekend. Girly movie night (we never watch movies, but we're not sure what else to call it) ran late Friday night - I got home around 3AM. Awakened at 6 by one small child. Ran around like mad Saturday morning getting the house ready for our first showing. And then we loaded up the baby and the pup and went to the big park in Havre de Grace to do some of this:

In the interest of full disclosure, the above pictures were actually taken Sunday, when we went BACK to the playground. But we did essentially the same thing on Saturday. Minus the swing, which Dex didn't discover til Sunday. CoCo was quite a hit at the playground. She had several kids wanting to pet her.

SO! Someone came and looked at the house on Saturday. And then they were interested enough to ask for our disclosures. But, no offer from them yet. Darn!

We were supposed to have another person look at the house tonight, so I spent Dexter's nap getting the house ready AGAIN, then loaded up the dog and the baby and we all went to swimming lessons in Elkton. I was about 5 minutes away from the house, on the way to swimming, when the listing service called and said the people had canceled. Darn again! Here I've left every light in the house on, music playing, made the poor old dog go for a ride in the car with the slippery leather seats that she hates. And now people aren't coming. Boooooo.

Perhaps it's for the best, though, as what is usually Lake Norman in our backyard has evolved and grown in to the Ocean Norman. It's out of control. And currently being pumped in to the street, thanks to a very handy pump lent to us by Dad. Yay, Dad!

Here's a few more pictures from Sunday - we went for a walk on the Promenade, to look at the geese and the ducks.
Yep - that's Dexter, looking like a confident walker! Out of control...

Day 18 - Swing

Ah, spring. The sun shining. The birds chirping. The neighbors out walking. The sound of Latino music blaring across the parking lot from some annoying neighbors, while the baby is trying to go to sleep... There are things we won't miss about this place.

It's nice to open the windows, though. It's nice to open the sunroof in the car. It's awesome to have John play hookie from work so he can stay home and put pretty new black mulch in the garden, and hang a swing for Dex so he can spend eons doing this:


We didn't spend nearly as much time outside as I would have liked today, because Dex had his My Gym class (which went awesome). But John did take us out to lunch at a nice little cafe in town with outdoor seating, where Dex was fascinated by the trains that kept going by. We told him they were going up to see Aunt Christy in New York.

Jillian went WAY better for me today. I'm not sure why - maybe because I tried doing squat thrusts and plank jacks on the rug instead of on the slippery floor, so my feet stayed under me better? Maybe because I listened to music instead of listening to Jillian? Whatever the secret, I felt pretty good today, and there's a glimmer of hope that I might be able to move to Level 3 in a couple days.

The not eating sweets thing is going way better than I expected. I was really craving some M&M's yesterday, but I didn't get any. I'm not sure in general I am eating all that much better (as I sit, still full, from a dinner of yummy lasagna and eight trillion crescent rolls). But I am pretty happy with my ability to steer clear of sweets. We'll see how I do this weekend when surrounded by baby shower cake.

And! We're official! Nobody has called us to look at the house yet, which makes me sad. :-) C'mon - it's been on the market for like six hours now!

OUR HOUSE LISTING!!

Here's some more swinging pictures. I expect we'll wear out a place in the grass in front of the swing before we move...

Day 17 - Slip Slidin' Away

Is it really Day 17? Really? I just went back and counted and I think it is. Man. If I am supposed to move to Level 3 in three days... There's no way. Seriously. NO WAY. I am barely making it through Level 2, and I am still doing modified versions of some stuff. We might have to send Superman John on to Level 3, while I languish at Level 2 for a while longer. Til I feel less like dying.

What else? What else is going on here? I am tired and grumpy. And stressed. The house is supposed to go on the market TOMORROW. And do you think the realtor has sent me a copy of the master listing yet? Hells no. So irritated. And the house is currently littered with random toys and bags and boxes, strewn all about, just waiting for a frenzy of cleaning when we get a call that says seventeen billion people want to look at our house NOW. Assuming, of course, the slacker realtor gets the listing up.

The baby fell off his slide AGAIN today. Hard. Poor kid. He's just sitting up on his platform wanting me to sing Pat-A-Cake (yeah, THANKS A LOT, Grandma. Guess what I sing all day every day now?) and then he leans back a bit and - BOOM! Head crashes to the deck. He's a little afraid of the stair part of the slide now. Can't say I blame him.

John is staying home to mulch tomorrow, in the 70 degree sunshine. I don't think he minds.

I really really really need a hair cut. But have yet to find the time to get one. Maybe next weekend I can go in for my semi-annual trim. It's about that time.

And that's about all my little brain can muster tonight. Here - look at some pictures of a cute baby:

Modeling his awesome Hokie sweatshirt

Mmmmmm. Tastes like... orange!

Wheeee!

Fun!

Cute. Again. Still. Some more. Oh - Mr. Cute was completely getting molested by a little girl at the Library today. He cried and came crawling over to his Mom, to save him from the infatuated girl. Poor boy, fighting off the ladies already!

Day 16 - Gulp

So this happened today:

The house isn't officially on the market yet. We just have, apparently, an ambitious sign guy. It doesn't go on the market til Thursday. You know, 36 hours or so from now.

I've known we were going to sell the house for a good year now, but seeing the sign out front makes it so... real. And terrifying. And sad. I mean, it's OUR HOUSE, right? We love this house. If only we had a magic wand and could make it bigger. And with a bigger yard.

Also terrifying because we have not started looking for a new house yet. There's slim pickings where we want to live, in a price range we can afford. So, gulp. Let's hope some new stuff comes on the market soon!

In other news:

I only did like 3/4 of Jillian today, because a small child woke up from his nap before I expected him to. I did, however, take said early-waking small child out for a backpack walk after the nap. So does that count as the other 1/4 of my workout?

I do believe the small child would have napped longer were it not for the explosive, leaked all over the place, diarrhea in his diaper. In retrospect, perhaps letting him eat as many prunes as he so desired at lunch today (and he desired a lot of prunes) was not such a good idea. I decided that after the third clothing change of the day. For Dexter, not for me.

I went for the above mentioned backpack walk wearing only a tee shirt! Well, and pants. But - no long sleeves. Excellent! I tried getting Dex to wear a baseball cap for his blond little head, but he'd have none of it.

Dexter finally got to play with his new slide today. He enjoyed it a lot, although the slide is a bit short, and he has a hard time walking up it in his shoes. And he's also a bit afraid of the step-up part of the slide. Perhaps because he fell off the platform that way today. TWICE.

Aaaaaand, that's a wrap. Time for bed!

Day 14 - Procrastinating

There's a lot of things I should be doing right now. The house goes on the market this week. The photo lady comes Tuesday to take pictures of our house, to post on the internets, to lure prospective buyers to us. So - it needs to look good. I should be cleaning the kitchen. Or wiping off the drier. Or cleaning stuff off the coffee table. Or cleaning the fridge. But... I don't wanna. I am SUCH a procrastinator. Why do today what you can do tomorrow?

I did, however, do Jillian today. After a three day break for a visit from Grandma and Grandpa. And Jillian KICKED MY ASS. Ooof. Not good.

However, it looks like our three billion inches of rain is going to abate after tomorrow. And the rest of the week looks sunny and spring-like. So that should get me motivated to get some things done around here. What I WON'T be doing is packing up any more things to put in storage. Because it WILL NOT FIT. John and I went today to take one more load, and wondered how we ever fit all this crap in our house.

Now - enjoy some cute pictures of Dexter walking. He's a regular walking fool these days. He hasn't figured out how to stand up on his own yet, but if you set him up and get him started, he'll walk forever. Or at least til he trips over the dog and falls down.

John gets him set up, and Dex gets his game face on.

Wandering around the corner to find Dad. Where is Dad?

And rounding the corner again, to come back to Mom.

Does he not look about 27 years old?

Yay! I made it!

Day 13, Or Something. I Underestimated.

We seem to be back on the wagon with our challenge. The no sweets part was easy this week. Made easier when you don't really feel like eating. And I just finished Jillian for that we'll call Day 13. Sure. Let's go with that.

I've been wrong about a few thing the past couple days. Not entirely wrong. I just... UNDERESTIMATED a few things:

1) I underestimated how loud carpet installation would be yesterday. Silly me thought I'd just put Dex in the basement to take his morning nap. No problem. Except that the entire house shook with the noise. For an hour and a half. Morning nap? Poof! Gone.

2) I underestimated what kind of sleeping environment Dex needed to sleep in, when he's really tired. I put him in his pack-n-play in the basement to play for a while, so I could vacuum the seven billion bags of fuzz off his carpet. When I went down 45 minutes later - sound asleep, amidst all his toys, with his head facing right out toward the sliding door, blinds wide open, sun shining bright. Guess he was tired.

3) I underestimated the effect that weaning would have on the baby. At least I think that might be his problem. He's been RIDICULOUSLY clingy and whiny the past week and a half. I know, he's been sick. But hey - he's been better for a few days, and still the whining. I discovered, just today, really, the power of the hug. So instead of taking him from his high chair and plopping him on the floor, I sit on the floor for a minute, give him a hug, and let him wander away when he's ready. Sure, the dishes have to sit dirty for a minute. But it's completely worth it to have a happy baby. I've underestimated the power of a hug, many many times in my life.

4) I constantly underestimate the cognitive and physical abilities of the baby. I've helped him put stars on his star tower a billion times. Today, easy as pie, he put the stars on the tower all by himself. No problem! I about fell out of my chair. Last night he walked from John over to me at the sink. I didn't catch him - he just grabbed the cabinet, turned around, and walked back to John. This morning we were in his room and I stood him up, pointed him in the right direction, and told him to walk to the window. Over he tottered. He stood there looking out at the school bus in the parking lot for a while, and then I told him to walk to Mama. AND - he turned around, let go of the window, and walked right on over! He cracks me right up, what with his flailing arms, drunken walk, and HUGE grin. He tends to cackle when walking - a kind of a "Look at me! I kick ass!" kind of cackle. Over the weekend, he easily put shapes in the shape sorter at Grandma's house. He knows that his shoes go on his feet. He knows that a hat goes on his head. He's an amazing little specimen of a human being.

OK, let me save this for now. I'll try to remember to take some pictures of Dex today at My Gym, and then I'll post this, with a picture, later tonight.

Oh! New carpet looks good. Actually, it looks the same as the other carpet, just not stained.

Waiting for me to bounce the trampoline for him

Cute

My camera was too slow to do it justice, but what you're seeing is the tail end of Dex walking on his own, from me to these here stairs.

Hiatus

Our 30 Day Challenge is currently on hiatus. Until Further Notice. Hopefully, that will be tomorrow.

I knew we'd have to take a mini-break, as we had to make a trip to NY on Thursday night to go to a funeral on Friday. And really, who wants to avoid cake when you're at a funeral luncheon? It's kind of impossible. And also difficult to find a place to do Jillian at my parent's house. So, a 2 day break. We could manage.

And then. OH, AND THEN. We pulled up late Thursday night, took the baby out of the car, discovered he had thrown up. Changed his PJ's and he ERUPTED vomit all over me. Cleaned that off, got him some PJ's, more puke. Repeat, repeat, repeat. We went through pretty much every article of clothing I had for the boy in about three hours, plus two laundry loads worth of towels and blankets. Poor kid. He finally fell asleep in John's arms at about 3AM.

So John stayed at my parent's house with the sick baby while I drove further to a funeral on Friday. Friday night we both fell off the wagon as we indulged in yummy desserts. And at about 2AM Saturday I went downstairs to sit in Dad's recliner and to try to will myself not to throw up. I hate throwing up. I hate it worse than anything in the world. Except maybe snakes. So I lasted til about 5AM, and then had to make a dash to the bathroom. I was down for the count all day Saturday.

We stayed one day longer than planned, John was Super Dad of the Weekend, my mom took care of me, and as our way of saying thanks, now she is deathly ill with our fun stomach virus. John is thus far unscathed. We'll cross our fingers and hope he stays that way.

So no Jillian for me today, as I felt ill just taking a short walk around the block with the baby and the old old dog. Hopefully tomorrow. After the NEW BEDROOM CARPET gets put in. Yay!!

Oh! True to form and as predicted, CTB sent me this photo:
I can only take solace in the fact that she absolutely had to shudder more LOOKING for a gross snake picture, and sending it, than I did just having to look at it. What a friend, eh? I miss you, cutest CTB!

Sorry, no baby pictures today. I was doing all I could do just watching the boy. Taking pictures was more than I could handle.

Day 12 - Ugh. That Wasn't Any Better

Whew! This Level 2 thing is kicking my ass. I can handle the strength stuff. My arms are killing me, lifting my big huge 2 pound weights, but I can deal. The abs are harder, and my back is sore because I am obviously doing something wrong. But the CARDIO! Ugh! Torture! Squat thrusts! Plank jacks! Double jump rope! BLAH. I am dying.

In other news, Dex got his first bloody nose today at My Gym. Poor kid. He was reaching over trying to pull up on this plastic bridge thing, when his hand slipped off and he went face first in to it. Well, nose first. Just a little trickle of blood came out. Poor kid. This is the second time in a week he has bashed his nose.

Busy busy today. I don't have any new pictures. So, here. Have a picture of Dex that you've never seen before, from one year ago today. This is, I believe, him wearing 3 - 6 month footie PJ's. Because he is HUGE.

Days 10 and 11 - A New Level of Torture

We were both good yesterday, I promise. We both did our last day of Level 1 with Jillian. Poor John didn't do his til, oh, sometime after I went to bed. But we were good. I just forgot to write a post for you.

Today is Day 11, which means the first day of Level 2. I just finished. Barely. Holy hell. I knew it was going to be harder, but this was insane. There were some things I had to do in the modified form, and there were a couple things I just could not do. The last set of ab moves, in particular. I was going along and then POP! Something popped in my right hip and I couldn't go any more. I am now dead. I am going to be SO SORE tomorrow. But, hey - at least I know I am getting a work out!

Giving a shout out to Nonna and Grandpa, who just got home last night from a week of vacation in warm sunny Florida. We are very jealous. Although, perhaps, a bit smug at the same time because they are returning to the cold snowy Arctic Circle, while here in Maryland it's supposed to be close to 50 this weekend. Ha!

John said we needed pictures of Dexter's Starboard shirt before he grows out of it. I told John I'd better take those pictures today, then...

Dex wearing the slightly dazed and confused look I see on so many faces coming out of the Starboard

Blue teething rings bring such joy to a boy...

This would be such an awesome photo, if it weren't for the blue thing in his mouth. Ah, well. Nice to remember him the way he looks a vast majority of the time.

This page in Brown Bear Brown Bear really freaks me out. I still can't quite bring myself to touch it. Which is... ridiculous. Because it's a DRAWING. A pretty poor drawing, I might add. But still. It's a drawing of a snake and I cannot, CANNOT touch it. And my dear friend CTB is laughing her ass off now and is sure to send me some terrible internet photo of 27 people carrying the most enormous snake ever found on earth, just to give me nightmares. Because that's what friends are for! :-)

Day 9 - Weaned

It's been a long, slow, gradual process, but I do believe, barring any setbacks, that we can officially call the baby "weaned." This morning was the first boob-free morning of his life. And he didn't seem to miss it. Perhaps a tad confused when I plopped him in his high chair for a sippy cup instead of going upstairs to nurse, but he quickly got over it. Nursing was never really an emotional thing for us - it was all about food. So, replace one source of food with another, and it's all good.

I am, surprisingly, a little sad to see it go. I'm not really sure why. John thinks it's completely rational for me to be sad. It was a bonding thing between you, he says. Not so much, I said. It was just something I did. But now you know that he's growing up, he says. He's not your baby any more. And, yes. That's true. Maybe that's it. As much as I think I prefer the fun, curious, independent little boy he is now, it's a little sad to see the baby going away. And I will miss looking down at him and seeing him smile up at me, or him sticking his fingers in my mouth. But, you know what? I can do that anyway, when he falls and bashes his head on something and comes crawling over to me for a cuddle. So all is not lost.

It's entertaining to look back at my kind of rocky nursing relationship with this child. At our first visit to lactation group. At my ridiculous oversupply. Mastitis. Speed-nursing baby and painful nipples. And then, finally, things starting to get a little better.

Though it was a real pain in the ass (nipple?) sometimes, I don't regret nursing one little bit. I loved the convenience, the "free"-ness. I loved being able to walk out of the house without a bottle or a sippy cup. But it doesn't matter much now - I have to walk out of the house with snacks and water and food for the baby, anyway. So what's another sippy cup of milk, added to the mix? No big deal.

Besides, look what my boobs did! Yay, boobs! You rock.

Dex went from this

To this. All thanks to boobs. Good work!
(PS - boobs cannot take all the credit for such baby huge-ness, as last night for dinner he ate the equivalent of an entire slice of pizza, plus some black beans, plus some fruit. Good lord, child!)