Bawk RAWW

It's been a weird week.  Nothing's happening, really, is maybe why it's weird.  We get up, we go about the business of our day, after Dex goes to bed I read a book.  Somehow, I've read THREE books in the past week.  HMMM.  Maybe that's why nothing is happening.  It's fun to be reading again, though.  I joined a book club with the MOMS club, and I'm supposed to be reading The Hunger Games, but I haven't been able to lay my hands on a copy yet.  So I'm reading all the other books I got at a used book sale a couple weeks ago.

Anyway, I just finished my latest book this evening (Lost and Found, by Carolyn Parkhurst.  It was fine) and opened my computer to check my email.  And was saddened by a note from a friend that her mom had passed away this afternoon.  Her mom was pretty young, healthy, and had a really rare form of cancer.  I'd met her only a handful of times, but she was a lovely woman and I am saddened by her death.  And a little helpless.  A little not sure what I can do, beyond be sad for my friend and her family.

Then, because I am trying to avoid the sadness like I always do, I check Facebook.  And see that my sister has posted this:



Dear lord, I love her.  I've watched this video no less than 20 times this evening.  John keeps shaking his head, wondering how I am still laughing.  "It's not THAT funny," he says.  Yes, but if it's keeping me from crying right now, I'll take it.

Bawk.  Raww.  Please pass me an egg.  Or five.

Number Two

It took countless hours on the potty (COUNTLESS), half a container of prunes, and some laxative.  But finally Dexter went poopy on the potty on Wednesday.  And again Wednesday evening.  And again Thursday.  And again today.  So I think (crossing fingers and knocking on wood) that we might just have a potty trained child here.

That was fairly painless.  I mean, you wouldn't have wanted to ask me that question on Wednesday when I spent hour after hour sitting in the bathroom, laying down on the bathroom floor, stubbornly waiting for some goddamn poop to exit one small child's butt.  That was not painless.  But all in all, not so bad.  We'll see what happens when we have to drive longer than 45 minutes in the car, though.  I may need to look for a portable potty to take in the car with us.

We went to the allergist in Exton on Monday and Dexter peed on the potty at the doctor's office, and again in Ruby Tuesday.  Oh, funny story.  We were being seated in Ruby Tuesday and Dexter said "But today is MONDAY."  Yes.  Yes, I know, honey, but they don't have a Ruby Monday here.  So we're going to eat at Ruby Tuesday, ok?

In other news, Dexter went for his 3 year well visit today.  His nurse was mildly shocked when I told her about his Autism diagnosis.  He passed all his developmental questions and milestones that she asked me, and she just couldn't believe there was anything wrong with him.  So - don't trust your pediatrician's office to give you an autism screening...  Anyway, Dexter is almost 36 pounds - he gained 3.5 pounds since his visit last year.  And he's 3 feet, 4.5 inches tall.  Like 3.5 inches taller than last year.  He was a champ during his exam, as I told him if he was good he could have a lollipop after the doctor.  Thank the lord for lollipops.  And then we went out to lunch to have some Mexican.  Dexter had chicken fingers.  And some rice.

Yesterday at nap time Dex told me "I am getting too big for my crib."  Which... is kind of true.  But, oh, man, it totally broke my heart a little bit.  Because MY BABY.  SO BIG.  So we had a little chat.  Do you want a bigger bed?  "Yes.  We can go to the crib store and buy a bigger crib."  Well, kiddo, they don't make bigger cribs.  We can get you a bigger bed, but it won't have sides, and you'll be able to get in and out of it, but you'll need to stay in bed.  Maybe I didn't quite explain myself correctly, because he said "We can just use this crib."  OK.  OK, little man.  I'd prefer to keep you in your crib til you're, oh, 18 or so.  Cool?

Peek-a-boo.  I see you.  Pooping.

Upping the ante today - pooping with balloons.  Also, thank heaven for books that read themselves.  This Lightning McQueen book from Nonna and Grandpa is the go-to poopy book.  Otherwise we'd have to be in there reading books to him the whole time.  This?  MUCH better option.

My Funny Valentine

This kid, man.  He kills me.  He's been cracking himself up all day.  I have no idea why.  He was off playing with his trains while I was making lunch, and I kept hearing him giggle away.  This evening he was romping around, playing with Daddy and hugging Puff and completely cracking up the whole time.  Must be an inside joke, because he never told us what was so funny.

We had a nice Valentine's Day.  Gift and card exchange this morning, the consumption of some Bomboy's chocolate.  Dex had school today and came home with lots of valentines and stories of eating cookies for snack.  I made him a special heart shaped lunch, because I just didn't have my shit together enough to make it for breakfast this morning.  After nap we made some chocolate covered strawberries for Daddy (and us), and then we took Puff for a walk in the wagon.  Dinner was fabulous steak and shrimp and roasted asparagus and chocolate covered strawberries and John totally owes me because it was FANTASTIC.  Dexter ate about seventeen shrimp.  And now Dex is off to bed with his new Taggies blanket, which we bought with his birthday money from Aunt Maria.  So technically his blanket is from Aunt Maria, and he LOVES it.  I went in to check on him last night and his blanket was right up wrapped around his face.  He has a favorite tag and everything.  Thanks, Aunt Maria!

FIT class today was "The St. Valentine's Day Massacre" and it was quite torturous.  With a partner, we did 200 squats, 150 push ups, 150 kettle bell swings, 100 wall balls, 8 laps of running, and 200 sit-ups.  While one partner did some of the exercise, the other partner held a 25 pound weight above her head.  Til her arms fell off.  And then the partners switched.  So after your arms fell off, you got to do some squats.  Or some sit-ups.  OR.  OR.  Some push ups.  Which totally killed me.  I have the wimpiest arms in the universe (although, far less wimpy than they were in September).  During class there was a fire drill, and man was I happy that Dex wasn't there for school any more because that sucker is LOUD and he would have freaked right the hell out.  I felt bad for the poor little babies in day care who got wheeled outside (brrrrrr) in cribs.  They did at least have some blankets over them.  Poor little babies.

Here's some pictures from today.  Thanks, Grandma, for the cute Clifford shirt!

Ready for school, back pack in hand, red hat on head, Clifford shirt on cute body.

Heart shaped Birds Nest for lunch

Valentine's lunch - heart shaped bacon, heart shaped egg and toast, round blueberries.

Totally happy kid eating cute VD lunch...

Dipping strawberries.  A couple ended up on the tray for Daddy.  Most ended up in his mouth.

Post-strawberry-dipping

Puff wanted to take Buddy for a walk today, and he only fits in the wagon.  Dex wanted me to run while pulling the wagon.  I said no, thank you.

Strawberry end product.  They.  Were. AMAZING.  And also ridiculously easy.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

We're Gonna Need Some Prunes...

Dex hasn't pooped in four days.  FOUR DAYS.  I know he's my son and all, but this is ridiculous.  He's been delightful with his potty training - no accidents today or yesterday at all.  Today he even went to the potty a few times and actually PEED when I told him to go.  It usually has to be totally his idea or nothing will happen.

So I love that he's not pooping in his underwear.  But I am not psyched about how the poor kid must feel with four days of poop in his colon.  I've been shoving raisins down his throat, but we really need some prunes in this house.

Given the fact that this was day four of no poop, and I didn't trust at all what would happen if I let the child out of my sight or put him in a diaper - we stuck around the house all day today.  We did not leave the house at all, save the one trip I took down the driveway to put some mail in it.  I stayed in my pj's all day.  We played with trains.  We spent a whole lot of time doing some of this, because Puff has become Dexter's new go-to thing to play with.  It's tremendously cute.

Hugging Puff, while cuddling on the couch

Everyone is all cuddled and cozy on the couch, pretending to sleep, and then getting some M&M's when they wake up, and then sleeping again, etc.  If only some real sleep were involved...

I'm hoping tomorrow that this pooping in the potty aversion finally goes away, because spending the whole day in the house makes me kind of batty.  Tonight I might be sending John out to buy a couple containers of prunes.  I'ma gonna make this child poop, dammit.

Clean and Dry

I'm typing in the kitchen, with the monitor on as Dex plays in his room to listen in case he lets out a "Mama, I went pee!" yell, in which case I sprint up the stairs to empty the pee out of his potty before he tries to.  Because he's tried to before.  It's... not pretty.

Anyway, he's been playing with his dinosaur flashlight, which roars when you turn it on, and then says, "Are you scared?"  To which Dexter answers, "I was not scared."  Every time the flashlight asks, he has the same answer prepped.  That's my predictable boy.

I'm sending Daddy up to get him out of his room, because I am a little frightened to find out what might be in his underwear right now.  An hour.  By himself.  In his room.  Wearing underwear.  Bad, bad things might happen. I don't even wanna look.

Anyway, Monday afternoon Dexter officially became a kid and started wearing underwear.  Our mantra, repeated over and over and over again throughout the day is, "Are you clean and dry?"  And if he is, he gets an M&M.  Needless to say, M&M's are on the Wal-Mart shopping list for tomorrow.  Which is a good thing.  I'm glad he's eating a lot of M&M's.  He had one accident yesterday at school, and one today when he really tried to get to the potty but just didn't make it in time.  And whatever horrors might be in his pants right now.  So, really, not too bad.

(note - no poopy in his underwear as I had feared.  But I did get the "Mama I went pee" call and ran up to some pee in the potty - and kind of a lot on the floor.  Damn boys.  It's tough getting that pee in when you have to sit down.)

I was suffering from cooking hangover the beginning of this week, after two weeks of cooking dinners for guests, cooking big breakfasts, making eight billion cakes and cupcakes, mixing countless batches of frosting (HINT - buttercream frosting is eight million times better if you go half and half, butter and cream cheese.  YUM!), and making Super Bowl snacks on Sunday.  I was all done with cooking.  I'm still not enthused about it, but the leftovers are getting slim (except for the cheese dip.  No worries.  We have plenty of cheese dip.  Yesterday for dinner I had pepperoni dipped in cheese dip.  I highly recommend it).  So there's some Primal chicken nuggets in the oven right now, which smell delish, and I think I might heat up some lima beans for Dexter to eat.  Because he is a freak and LOVES them.  Seriously.  What normal person loves lima beans??

Here's some pictures from last weekend, when the Normans came to visit and celebrate Dexter's birthday.  The NYC family members were happy that the Giants won the Super Bowl.  And they decorated another train cake with ALL the candy we had leftover from the first train cake.  So, this cake has lots and lots and lots of candy, and it was super yummy.  Even made with gluten-free flour, it was fantastic.

Well-decorated cake

Dexter invented a new game of "train" in which he is the engine and everyone else is a tender or a car.  Uncle Steven and Aunt Christy got roped in to this round of Train.  Dex is getting WAY too fast to chase around the house, man.

Also played a few cut-throat games of Chutes and Ladders with Aunt Christy

Miracle of all miracles, Dexter finally started playing with the remotes to his trains.  All by himself, no screaming at all.

Happy Birthday, little man!

Super Bowl lounging.  No idea who he was cheering for this time around, but he  knew which team was the Giants.

Since we're working on Clean and Dry, we're pretty much hanging out at home a lot.  So we're doing a whole lot of this.

And this - Dex loves his bag for school

And this - running with home-made bead necklace, back pack,  giggling at the duck quacking and the snake hissing.  All in all, not a bad way to spend an afternoon.  Clean.  And Dry.

St. Patty's Day Bread

So I made this recipe for banana bread last night.  I've made it before, to feed to normal, grain eating people, and it turned out awesome.  The first time I made it with cashew butter.  This time I made it with sunflower seed butter, because I am a cheap bastard and it's like half the price.  So it baked and looked all brown and crusty and delicious.  And then I cut in to it this morning.  And John freaked out and refused to eat it.

It's still yummy.  It's just...  GREEN.  Very, very green.

I'ma gonna feed it to our company this weekend...  

Totally unrelated - Dexter had his first day of new preschool today.  I totally cried dropping him off.  But his teachers said he was great, and when I asked him if he wanted to go back to school on Tuesday he said he wanted to go back to his NEW school.  So that bodes well.  I think he's just psyched that he got to ride a bike on the play ground...

One more totally unrelated - I made this yummy side dish at dinner tonight.  OMG.  Yum.  I might start making all my mac and cheese with Dijon mustard in it.

I also made fish and used crushed up pork rinds instead of bread crumbs.  John still doesn't know.  He said it was yummy, so I figured what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Final totally unrelated - John is getting up at 3:30 AM tomorrow to go to this random competitive eating event.  I dunno why.  Apparently it's entertaining.

What Happens If I Don't?

Dexter's most frequently asked question these days has been "What happens if I don't?"  As in:  Dexter, please eat your dinner.  "What happens if I DON'T eat my dinner?"  Well, then you will be hungry.  Or:  Dexter, please wash your hands.  "What happens if I DON'T wash my hands?"  (Me running out of ideas, because, really, nothing happens if he doesn't wash his hands.  Except maybe some salmonella from that dog poop he picked up with his hands today...)  Well, what happens when you don't listen to Mama?

And he totally know the answer.  And comes back with "You go in time out."  And I, in my (mildly successful) attempt to get him to use pronouns correctly, respond, "No, I don't go to time out.  I listen the first time I am asked."

This is like the three year old version of "WHY?" and the mom's version of, "Because I SAID so, dammit!"

It.  Drives.  Me.  Batty.

Lord help me, I am going to need ear plugs and lots of beer when he starts asking the "why" questions.

Fortunately for Dexter, he is super cute.  It's a good thing.

We went to Longwood today, supposedly to meet some friends.  But the friends were (as always) very late.  So we never saw them, but we did have a very nice time wandering.

It was nice enough outside that we could feed the fish, and some very hungry geese.

Dex said "I can sit on this bench for a little while, and then we can go back down those cool cool stairs."  OK, cute stuff.  Note to Mama - maybe use the word "cool" less...

We checked out a gazebo we had never been to before.

I feel like I've seen this exact same picture before...  Same pants and everything.

It's orchid time at Longwood inside.  Pretty.

Big orchid bush, forced "Why the hell is she making me do this" CHEESE smile from the child.

No idea what this is, besides cool looking.

It's spring time inside!  And outside, actually, there's some little crocus kind of things, and you can see the green of the tulips pushing up through the dirt.  Also, MY tulips in our front yard are starting to peek through, as well.  Holy crap, flowers.  IT JUST TURNED FEBRUARY.

Classic "Jesus, lady, why you gotta always be taking my picture?" smile.

"If I just say CHEESE real quick maybe she'll leave me alone..."

Pretty orchids

C'mon, Mama, just take my damn picture so I can go get wet...

I always forget to take a picture of the entire dragon.  He's pretty cool.

Totally unforced smile, brought on by sheer joy of chasing water.

Loved the stained glass today.

Yes, Mama, I am cute.  CHEESE.  Now come help me beat on this here drum.

Catching "lady bugs"

My attempt at fancy artistry.  Not bad, especially since this was the little camera.

More crazy child running.  You'd think after all the running he did that he'd take a damn nap...