The Questioner

The questions never stop coming from Dexter's mouth.  Most of them are questions he knows the answer to.  Why do we wash hands before dinner?  Why do I have to pee some times?  Why do babies cry some times?  All those questions make me insane, so I turn it back to him.  Well, what do you think, kiddo?  And he provides the correct answer.  We think he's just trying to have a conversation.  He just doesn't know how.

But I've had some doozies recently, that have made me think.  Such as:

Mama, why did you decide to make me a boy when I was in your belly?
(Followed by my explanation that I didn't choose.  The baby inside my belly chose all by itself.  I can't decide to have a boy or a girl).

Mama, what was I before I was a baby in your belly?
(Well, hon, you were an egg.  And a sperm crashed in to the egg, and then that turned in to a baby).

Mama, is there a nest?
???  WTF?
Inside your belly, for the egg.  Is there a nest?
(Mind you, this was a FULL DAY later, after the egg turning in to a baby discussion.  OOOOHHH!  No, there's no nest inside my belly.  The egg was in my ovary.  Which, I guess, is kind of like a nest.  But it's inside my belly.  Birds lay eggs in a nest outside their belly.  People keep their eggs and babies inside their bellies).
And then the egg cracks open, and a baby comes out inside your belly.
(Well, sure.  OK.  Kind of.)

Mama, do people come back alive after they die?
(Holy hell, child.  You are killing me here.  Where did THIS one come from?  OK.  Think for a minute. Well, some people think you come back to life after you die.  And some people do not.  I, personally, do not think you come back to life after you die.  I think you just die.)
Well, I think people come back alive after they die.  And when I die I am going to come back alive as a kid. In your belly.
(Ummm.  That's really going to hurt me, kiddo.  It's hard enough carrying a baby in my belly.  I am pretty sure a kid is not going to fit.)

Mama, what's your favorite thing?
(My favorite thing ever?  Well, I guess you and Erin.)
My favorite thing is ice cream.
(Wait.  Your favorite thing ever is ice cream?  Even more than Mama and Daddy?)
Yep.  My favorite thing is ice cream.  And this time I am going to get cotton candy.  Last time I got bubble gum, and I said that the next time I was going to try cotton candy, because I read they had cotton candy on the ice cream list.  So this time I am going to get cotton candy.
(Mind you, he has not yet asked if we can go to the ice cream store.  He is simply talking about going there, assuming that we're just magically going to go.  While the baby is napping.  When I explained we could not, he said he would go by himself.  When I asked how he would get there:)
I can drive the car.  I just have to lean really far forward so I can reach the gas pedal.
(We compromised.  I gave him some ice cream from the freezer.)