Sometimes you need a good assistant

Some things are best done alone. Enjoying a bath (for the first time since we moved in) in your enormous bath tub - best done alone. Well, not technically alone. A good magazine and a glass of Bailey's on the rocks joined me, too. Peeing - best done alone. I can't remember the last time that happened when the child was actually awake, though. Napping on the couch - more comfy when done alone, but I usually don't mind sharing the couch with a cute husband, who will actually stay awake to watch the whole National Championship football game, while I snooze through the entire second half, to be awoken late in the game by some sort of "What the HELL?" utterances by said cute husband. I don't remember exactly what happened in the game that made such yelling necessary. But it was fine. I got to watch the last two minutes, which was all I really needed to do anyway.

Some things are fine when done alone, and may well get done fast if done alone. But they are far cuter and more entertaining if a small child helps out. Case in point:

Tremendously helpful child assists in making Shepard's Pie for dinner last night. For the record, I really kind of hate Shepard's Pie. But this stuff that Dex and I made? Not too shabby.

Need help making your own dinner? I can provide an assistant. I cannot, however, promise that his little fingers won't end up in the ketchup.

Do you need someone to help push your baby stroller? Maybe you have a bad back, or you're tired, or you just don't feel like pushing your baby in endless circles around the house? Have I got the assistant for you!

That is, assuming you don't mind if your baby strolls with some animal crackers, a cup of water, a giraffe from our train set, and a plastic stop light (can't see it here - buried under baby)

Hey, I never promised that your baby would be safe. Or even comfortable. I am simply promising a very cute assistant.

Also available - baby fire truck rides. Sure to thrill your little one!

Do you need some help drawing on your Magnadoodle? Perhaps you need someone to make suggestions as to what to draw? Or where, exactly, to draw it? I've got just the assistant for you!

Also potentially available - this really very helpful black mutt. He could be your PERMANENT helper if you really want him. He's cute. He hasn't peed in the house in a good month. He usually comes back when you call him, from his forays to the neighbor's yard - ACROSS THE STREET. And John is becoming more and more convinced that Dexter's continual coughing, even while on the max dose of allergy medicine, is caused by said black mutt. We'll see if Buddy's days are numbered - peds visit tomorrow (if the snow doesn't close down the world), and hopefully a recommendation to see an allergist.

Bath time's a drag, I know. It's really hard to dump water on your head. It's tedious. But with THIS ASSISTANT, bath time becomes twice as fast, and seventeen times the FUN!

On a mildly related note - Dex started swim lessons at the Y last week. Our first lesson was unimpressive, and I seriously considered just sticking it out through this session and then going back to our old place, even though it's more expensive and more than twice as far away. But this week we got a new instructor who actually knows what she is doing. And our lesson was a billion times better. So maybe we'll keep going back after all. Know what we're for certain going to do? Take advantage of the rec swimming time at the pool. Because this small child. LOVES. IT. THERE.

Seriously. Give me a call if you're in need of some help. I can provide the assistant you need. He doesn't even eat very much. Unless you offer him a pear. Or some mac and cheese. Or, heaven forbid, a white pizza from Aurora Pizza in Jennersville. In which case you'd better get an extra pizza just for you...