Fascination

I've known a boy or two in my lifetime, so I realize that life for them is kind of all about the penis. Think with penis. Act with penis. Always the penis. But I didn't realize this fascination began SO GODDAMN EARLY. I mean, seriously. Dexter is six months old. Six MONTHS! And as soon as the diaper comes off, the hand goes right down to the penis. Is it still there? What's it doing there? What are these other squishy things down there? Any fun streams of liquid coming out down there? No? What can I do to make that happen?

John changed Dexter's diaper yesterday and noticed the immediate penis grab. He said he decided it was no big deal. Which is what I thought for a couple diaper changes, too. Till the dreaded poopy diaper. With subsequent poop all over both hands. I told John that and he said "Huh. Yeah, I guess I didn't think about that."

So I guess I don't have much hope in Dexter ever just kind of... forgetting? That there's a penis between his legs? And ignoring it? Because he is, through and through, a boy. The best plan of attack for now, I think, is to discourage the penis grab during diaper changes. All of them. So perhaps Dexter McPoopy Hands can be a thing of the past.

Also, when does this child get a sense of feeling, and knowing that something he is doing to himself is painful? Because the force with which he grabs his penis and balls and twists them in his little hands... It kind of makes me cringe. And I'm not even a boy.

A quick news feed, completely unrelated to penises. AKA: I should probably make this a separate post but I am too damn lazy to do so...

1) Oatmeal + formula mixed in to one sticky pasty mess = instant success in one baby's eyes
2) Said success may mean the end of daily pumping for Mom (yay!)
3) On the other hand, formula is, I think, gold dust or something. Ridiculously expensive.
4) Stick a finger in Dexter's mouth. Go ahead. Go for it. Feel that sharp thingy? Bottom, front, on the right hand side? I do believe that's a tooth. The little nub of a little tooth. In my not so little boy. Now go ahead. Let the baby chew on your finger...

And now, in more unrelated to anything kind of stuff, a photo story from Dexter:

Hey, look! Dad's shoe! Looks like a fun toy to play with while Mom is in the bathroom. What shall I do with it?
I'll try it on my foot. That's what Dad does with it.
Hmmm. That didn't work quite like I had hoped.

Ah, yes. THIS. This is much better. A much more appropriate use of shoes.
Umm. Ick. This shoe tastes like Dad's foot. And a little like CoCo's butt...