Baby Happy, Baby Sad

Just now, at nap time, Dex and I were reading "Baby Happy, Baby Sad." We had some nice discussions about why the baby might be sad, as Dex thinks everybody is sad because they have to go to time out. Seriously. The kid doesn't even go to time out very much any more, but apparently his time outs make him very sad, and it makes a huge impression on him. So we talked about why else the baby was sad - because the kitty ran away, because his ice cream fell on the ground and now Buddy will eat it, because his sister was not sharing the toys, because he fell down and got an owie. And because Daddy went away. But then Daddy came back in the morning, and the baby was happy.

And then I put him in his bed and got ready to sing some Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Before I could open my mouth Dex said "Mama be here in the morning." And I said that of course I would be here in the morning. I would always be here. And then I cried my eyes out. Because, what if I'm not? What if some day I can't be here in the morning? And, how completely sweet is it that my baby boy wants me to be here in the morning?

I, of course, can't really tell him any of this. You can't really tell a two-year-old about death, so much, can you? And I don't really WANT to - there's no imminent reason to make him think that Mama and Daddy won't just... be here. Forever. Of course we'll always be here, sweetie. Absolutely we will. Even when you don't want us to be here any more, we'll still be here bothering you.

I'm not looking forward to that day. That day when somebody or something in our lives dies. I'd rather we just all be here. I'd like to keep the Baby Happy.

My guess is, in retrospect, that John told this phrase to Dex last night when he was putting him to bed. And I was playing volleyball, so I wasn't there to give him a hug and a kiss goodnight. That didn't really seem like a sentence he would make up. So, probably I shouldn't continue to cry my eyes out. And yet, the pile of tissues next to me is far too big right now...