Friday, May 14, 2010

ANTM

And the winner of America's Next Top Model is... (long, dramatic pause)

DEXTER!

See small child fall to the ground, tears streaming from his eyes, as he is so happy to be declared the cutest model baby in history.

Like there was ever any doubt, after seeing his portfolio:


OK, Dexter. Show me pensive. Serious. Right there! CLICK


Now shocked! Show me shocked! Great! CLICK


OK, now let's see a little boy next door. A little bit of flirt. Perfect! CLICK


Now, show me stately. Think old grey haired grandpa. Right! CLICK


OK, now coy. Give me your best come hither look! YES! CLICK


Now let's try bored. Like, high school boy waiting at the school entrance for a girl, but trying to look like he's not waiting. That's it! CLICK


This last one's just a nice, classic, smiling close-up. Just say CHEESE. CLICK


Not really modeling, but cute. And the last time I'll see the azaleas bloom here.

What I really want to know is how normal, not 95th percentile in height kids wear these shorts. Without them looking like pants. Because while they fit around the waist just fine, they are absurdly, laughingly, ridiculously LONG!

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