Swinging in the swing looking at the horses:
Dex: That brown horse with white stockings is looking at you!
Me: Ummmm. Yes. Yes he is. Who taught you about stockings on horses?
Still swinging in the swing:
Buddy: (eating grass)
Dex: Buddy, what is the deal with the grass?
Talking to Daddy:
Dex: You went swimming in the really really really really really really really really really really really really (breath) really really really really BIG POOL and there was a sun place
John: (who lost interest after the seventh really) Wait, where'd you go?
Leaving the dentist:
Dex: Your lollipop is just candy (he got a lollipop and a toothbrush at the dentist today. He's never had a lollipop before, and he was trying to brush his teeth with it. I had to explain how the whole lollipop thing worked)
Me: Yes, that's right. Do you like your lollipop?
Dex: Yes. You LIKE your lollipop. It got littler and littler.
(PS - yes, I find it terribly ironic that Dexter got his very first lollipop FROM THE DENTIST)
Driving down the road:
Dex: What's THIS road called?
Me: Mill Road.
Dex: This is Milburn Road.
Me: No, not Milburn Road. MILL Road.
Dex: When we go to Milburn we will be on Milburn Road.
Me: OK. Yes. When we go to Milburn we drive on Milburn Road. (Thinking: Dude, are you totally my father's grandson? I STILL don't know the real names of roads in Ithaca. But I can damn well find Dentist Street.)
Driving to Wal-Mart:
Dex: Where are we going?
Me: We're going to Wal-Mart
Dex: We are going to WAN-Mart! (he totally says things wrong just to irritate us)
Me: No, silly. WAL-Mart. (Thinking: Your version is pretty appropriate, though, little man, given the vast majority of the clientele there. Juan-Mart might be a good name for it...)
Other things Dex says wrong on purpose:
Dex: You are wearing a long SLEE shirt!
(Daddy inevitably chimes in with NOOOOOO! It's a SLEEVE shirt!)
Dex: Your Paperizor makes PAPER!
More driving to Wal-Mart:
Dex: There is a tomato on the Applebee's
Me: Yes, you're right. Wait. A tomato? Do you think there's a tomato on the Applebee's sign, or an APPLE on the Applebee's sign?
Dex: An APPLE!
Me: Right. We're going to APPLEbee's
Dex: We are not going to Tomatobee's
Me: No. No we're not going to Tomatobee's. I don't know where Tomatobee's is. (All the while trying not to fall out of my seat with laughter)
Dex: Tomatobee's is too far away
1 comment:
There's a restaurant called Fazoli's, which has a big red tomato for its sign, and when I rode passed it as a kid, I called out, "Look it's Applebee's! ... Wait, that's not Applebee's, that's Tomatobee's!"
Post a Comment