Christmas Carols

I have been happily listening to the Christmas music channels on XM Radio all week. Holiday Traditions (affectionately known as the HoliTard Channel by Adam) is the best one to sing along to - a little Frank Sinatra, Andy Williams, etc. The Holiday Pops channel is relaxing - it's all the stuff I grew up listening to in the Cowan house. Sometimes it gets a little too obscure for me. And the Holly channel is mostly just annoying - who really wants to listen to Boyz 2 Men's version of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"?

So I tend to stick to the HoliTard channel, so I can sing along. Growing up with Dad, we of course learned ALL the proper words to every single song. Some of the favorites:

"You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not pout or I'll punch you in the snout" (coincidentally, playing on XM as I type this)

"Dashing through the snow, in a one-horse open sled..." There's more to this one, but some people who read this blog still think I am a nice, sweet girl and I'd like to keep up that facade for as long as I can...

"Noel, noel, noel, noel. We have no water cause we have no well" (I'm just waiting for Dad to sing it that way at Christmas Eve mass some time. I shall laugh until I pee my pants)

"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire"

"Later on, we prespire, as we sit by the fire" (By the way, who is this Parson Brown dude they sing about in that song? Why would you pretend a snowman is that guy? I don't get it)

"Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus Lane. Bringing toys to girls and boys who don't even know his name" (John gets SO MAD when I sing this song. Dude - it's not my fault he doesn't know the words! He also doesn't know the proper words to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I mean, c'mon. You'll go down in history - like COLUMBUS! Silly boy says like George Washington. He says Columbus never did anything. HELLO?? Only discovered this continent and stuff! What did Washington do, besides cut down a cherry tree? And besides, Columbus FITS in the song. Start tossing George Washington in there and there's just too many syllabals. Sorry, babe, but you're shoe-horning it in there. It just doesn't work).

My favorite, favorite song has nothing to do with my crazy family, though. I heard it last year for the first time on the incredibly awesome "Special Christmas" channel they had on XM (sadly, no longer exists this year). It's Cartman, from South Park, singing "Oh Holy Night" Goes something like this:
"Oh holy night, oh night when I get presents..." and then continues. I heard it while driving and almost had to pull over as I was laughing so hard. Google it some time - look for the version that does NOT have him getting poked with the cattle prod - it's funnier without it. Actually - here's a link to it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHatEb1ccus&feature=related

And who can talk Christmas carols without mention of the "Ding, Fries are Done" song? A holiday classic. You'll have to Google that one yourself, though. Again, I have some semblance of an image I have to hold up here. Yes, I hear a whole lot of you laughing...

I shall have to pull out my "Charlie Brown Christmas" cd when I decorate the tree, because there's nothing better to decorate to. Even John likes that one. We had a dance-off after Thanksgiving to see who would get the cool Peanuts advent calendar. John won - he's got a better Snoopy dance than I do. Darn him! Jeanne's got a good one, too. I might have a video of it somewhere. Or at least pictures of her Snoopy dance. I'll have to look on the big computer.

Anyway - if you have satellite radio check out the HoliTard channel. It's a good one! And if you don't - well just run in to your favorite local Super Wal-Mart for a while. They're sure to be blasting Christmas music. AND (bonus!) you get to do some ghetto-fabulous people watching while you're there! Can't get any better! ;-)